just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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