and you said cock pushups were impossible
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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