Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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