She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
