chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
this will be a night to untag.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
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