I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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