In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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