is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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