I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
