so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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