so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
