Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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