Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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