dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
