I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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