If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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