Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
