you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
