We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
