I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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