obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
