so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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