The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
