There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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