just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
it hurts more in the daytime
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
