how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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