Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
