Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
