you're like a bully in the Christmas story
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
