i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
