i need an iv and a liver transplant
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i love accidental penises.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
