she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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