Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
