Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
God, I missed his penis.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
