i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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