Me. At least after what I've been through.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
