Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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