They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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