yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
