i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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