My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
