I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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