No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Houston, we have a blender
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
