You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
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