can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
