Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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