Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
