If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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