Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize