turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
