another moral hangover. fuck.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
