Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
